Well, I haven't posted in a long time. Like I feared I am kind of irregular, if I can even keep up with this habit. But a lot has happened in the last month or so, many times I started documenting those events, my feelings, but three unfinished documents lie in my folder...the trait of an aries. Start things off but never see them through!

So, this week I made my foray into the corporate world. My first real job at the age of 24! Amazing. Scary. I would say emotional, but am not really an emotional person in this sense, it is something that has to get done. I guess i would still take a picture of my first pay stub for memory. Am foolish that way. But sometimes I wonder if life's practicalities and negativities take away from the magic of these big and small moments.

The constraints I have faced so far cast a shadow in my life every now and then, and sometimes I feel like am losing my 'never say die' spirit and I get so negative and cribby. That was what happened on the second day of my work. The first day was amazing, I guess I was so nervous but happy that I didn't blow it somehow. The second day was a reminder of who I still am and maybe always will be. But the days ahead have also been a reminder of who I am and always will be, and that is a fighter. Of course, I would never have been able to do it alone, it is only because of the support that I have from so many people in my life that I gain my perspective back in life. I wonder if that means, that my quest for independence is just a sham? For if I am to depend on others everytime my life lets me down, then am not truly independent am I?

So getting back to my work life...I have learned that I need 8-9 hrs sleep a day. Yep, always was a lazy bum. As usual I hate getting up at 7 am to go to work, and I know sooner I will have to be up at 5 or 6, but I think by the first few hours at work, it doesnt matter. I love having a cublicle, a laptop to work on and my own phone line!!!! I know I know, how peasant like to gush over such stuff, but why not? It's small things that make life fun isn't it?

So, done with a week of training, am wondering what Monday will bring forth. Got some prelim work to get through with, so that's good. I hate the thought of sitting in the office with nothing to do. for some reason I like to be swamped with work. Then I can retreat inside my head and even have convos with the voices inside my head without worrying about what would be thought of me.


So, in a nutshell, life is moving on now. I guess it will move on faster. That's good. Crazy as it sounds, I hope that the years fast forward ahead. I can't wait for a time to get some kind of stability and know what way am heading at.

Music: O Saathi re - Omkara