The same old story

Yet another rainy season, yet another day of water logged roads. It amazes me how easily we accept the signs of our very own mediocrity. Oh it is easy to quote the growth rates to me…yeah yeah yeah, the industry is growing at 8%, but for a country that is growing so fast, the smallest hint of the blessed rain and people don’t have dry shoes when they reach their work places. Hats off to the public that still can drive the 8% GDP, but why cant we drive the very change in our infrastructure?

I know things take time, I know it needs investment, I know such things don’t happen in a snap. But the fact is for the last 5-7 years, every summer we expect to see the same things in the papers. The only thing that has changed is that the situation worsens every year and the media now makes a bigger hoopla about it. But tell me, has anything happened to change the power situation in Delhi? I know the NCR city where I lived in, it went from bad to worse. Not only did we have just 4-5 hrs of power in a day in summers, the supply in winters also went down to sometimes less than 10 hours a day. Is that what we call making a change?

And what of the rainy season? As I opened the HT a few days back, I was greeted with pictures of water logged roads, of stranded bikes and cars, of children dancing in the filthy water, of people half drowned as they make their way to work. As I was almost about to pass the photographs without paying them much attention, it struck me that too many people do that already. It happens every year, every damn year and we are so used to it by now and so set in the ways of ‘oh nothing is going to change’ that we don’t even care. And if we don’t care, of course THEY would never care. Did anyone ever learn anything from Mumbai flooding? Doesn’t seem like it to me. In fact it seems like we take some kind of a perverse pride in being the pig headed, blindly led people that we are. So much more fun to walk in our own wastes thanks to sewer mixing with rainwater and proclaiming, ‘oh new Orleans?? Why we at Mumbai did so much better with our floods…’ happily ignoring that while one was the impact of a hurricane the other was a rain lashes city which would not have had its err claim to fame had things been better managed (my retort to that asinine email I was forwarded a thousand times by patriotic people, the email which compares devastation of Katrina to flooding in Mumbai…pah).

Oh and it is not just our roads flooding, apparently come monsoon and the roof of the IGIA (The Indira Gandhi INTERNATIONAL airport leaks as well!). Doesn’t that say something about us? Crumbling infrastructure? Of course! Doesn’t that say something about made in India? A couple decades and they go bam! In a way I guess it’s good, I mean it is sort of like that forewarned thing, you know…the leaky roof at the airport should warn the tourist about how leaky the state of affairs in the country is anyways, so then they cant complain when they get robbed, cheated, murder or raped by the friendly tourist guide or the cab wallah’s and all.

The thing to think about is…this is just about the capital. Shouldn’t this place at least keep an illusion of belonging to one of the fastest growing economies of the world? And I am talking of the roads beyond Rashtrapati Bhavan! You can imagine if this is how horrid life in the capital is, how it must suck to be stuck in parts as you move away from it. I would say I can’t even imagine it, but then I saw it on CNN a few days back when they covered floods in ‘Behar’. Of course years upon years of floods in Bihar, Orissa and U.P. Haven’t taught us a lesson, so when they occur every year we go ‘tch tch, it must be so hard to live in those areas, bechare log’. And the politicians go “Hum dekh rahe the, hum dekh rahe hain, and hum dekhte rahainge…’ and then to the journalist ‘arre aap photu lejiye na, hum yahan aaya hun junta ko pata hona chahiye na.’

So why is it that every time ‘they’ want something from us they can easily make us dance to that age old tune of ‘hindu and muslim’ and ‘pakistan, kashmir’ or these days a newer tune of ‘SC ST and the rest of you’? Why is it that no one is ever held accountable for their responsibility to make our lives livable? Why is it that no one ever had to answer for the same misery happening every year? And why is it that we have become so passive, why is it that we don’t care?

I know it is easy for me to sit here and preach, and I was for a moment contemplating trashing this little piece. I long ago resigned myself to the same mediocrity that everyone else is embracing, instead accepting the sad fact that if I want to better my own life, I might as well move to greener pastures. So call me a selfish if you like, but do that only if you can do something to change the scene from what it is and not trudge along like brainless bovine led in herds.

Of leaving and good bye's

Sometimes, some places leave their stamp on your heart, that it is hard to part, even when you have physically left the space. I have always been a home body. Whatever happened, I knew everything will be alright if I just had my few moments of peace at my home or better yet my room. It was my sanctuary.

A year ago, I left that sanctuary, a little excited a whole lot scared, on my new journey. My attempt to totally revamp my life, and hopes of doing something good with it. In leaving my home, I found a new one. And it was when I left this new home a few months back that I felt such an emptiness inside me I can't describe. It was while leaving this home that I cried, the tears just wouldn't stop. Now that I have had time to think on it, I know why. I still mourn the loss of that new home, for I know that I can never get back no matter how much I want to.

As I move on yet again, to another place I hope I can turn into 'home' I just wanted to leave a tribute to that place that welcomed me, a stranger, with open arms. A place that will always hold a special spot in my heart.

In a little corner
had my own sweet world
happy and content
a little girl.

you showed me the lights
the world the damn fair
oh it's so pretty little girl
why don't you stay here?

I left my life,
to live mine your way
I let the time
be led by what you say.

Oh little girl
I will always be near
let the grief out
I will dry every tear.

But now you are gone
found a better world of your own?
no place for me
but you were my home...

Now what do I do?
with these memories, this pain
who will dry the tears now that you're gone?
the bitter sweet rain.

Never an outsider

After a lot of debate and some acquaintance with this certain matter, I have come to a realization…our ancestors knew their stuff. They knew what they were talking about! Really, or why would you think that ancestors all along all kinds of castes, regions and religions said one thing…no mingling with outsiders!! And believe you me, in-breeding doesn’t seem like a big cost when you consider the practicalities of the matter and the headaches of an inter-caste or even (horror of horrors!) inter religion marriage!!

While growing up, I had huge faith in the liberal point of view. I mean, what does caste and creed matter when two people are in love? That point of view was held until very recent times, when being personally involved in one such event has changed my ideas forever (just as am not in the same category of hard core feminists as I was back in those oh-I-know-it-all teenage days).

The thing about India, that makes it both interesting and at times exasperating, is that if you are from different regions of the country, you might as well be from a different planet when it comes to traditions and all that blah. In laws and outlaws are always at cross paths, and enter this volatile mix of ego and tradition and custom and culture, and boy do you have a war at your hands. And unless one side happens to be like those timid people from ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ (anyone see that movie? Remember Ian’s scared looking parents?), the arguments going back and forth would be something like – Ladke wale (Groom’s family) “Well as per our customs, the girl has to cook for a thousand pundits, and do so while standing on one foot all the while”. Ladki wale (Bride’s family) “Well as per our customs, the groom has to dance around the fire on a full moon, with grease paint on his body…”

And so, on and on it goes, till everyone is crazy with confusion, and the only people laughing (to the bank that is) are the tentwalah’s and the florists and the caterers who will be changed at the drop of the hat as the wishes of the ‘for the moment influential party’ change and more money is sunk into last minute arrangement and cancelled arrangements. And in all this tamasha (game/entertainment), the poor blokes getting married get totally sidelined. It is more like everyone else planning for the most important day of their lives and they not having any say in it!

Why am I writing this here? Do I harbor anti inter caste sentiments? No, not really. But something made me realize how hard it is to forge such bonds. And I wanted to present this side of the coin, an argument no one ever talks about, maybe because of lack of personal involvement. In our society marriages are considered a relation binding not only the man and the woman, but something that binds families together, turning strangers into close family. Something that is easier done under normal circumstances becomes way harder when involving varied backgrounds, especially for a society that thrives on customs and traditions. After all where would the common ground stem from except for the children if they don’t follow our traditions and we don’t follow theirs, when they even eat food that is so different from ours?

So, if you are in love, and want to get hitched, just keep in mind that its not smooth sail forever and there is nothing like happily ever after. Such differences might not matter to you, what with the glow of love sweet love, but they would matter to your parents, and if you are like most, you would want to do what would make them happy. The only problem is, the situation does not resolve itself after making the marriage arrangements a big confusion, they would creep into every aspect of your life right from how to do the diwali puja (if you other half even celebrates diwali!) to what to name your kids. So my final take on this is, marry anyone you want, just be sure that if it’s a person not from your caste/religion, that your folks are actually more excited about the idea than you are (oh Goody! we could learn so much about their culture and enhance our know how!) or be ready for a constant tug of war.

FD

Introduction

I have always been very methodical in my life. Think of it as a sort of a good habit or bad, but it has mostly come in handy, and like any habit, has been a little hard to break. So even if I had less time to devote to my studies during exams, and knew that reading the introduction and chapters 1 and 2 would bring me in the half-dozing-half-there kind of a position, I would still labor through those endless pages, because there is just no way you can go to chapter 2 without going through chapter 1, it's like trying to be 21 before you are 18 and we all know how THAT ends up!

Now, why did I reveal that detail about myself? Just to explain that while I have a lot of stuff ging on in my head waiting to get posted, I just couldn't imagine starting a blog of mine without giving a proper introduction. And so, whenever the rest gets posted, it's immaterial, so long as the introduction gets there, I know that I have started my blog. Now what remains to be seen is, whether I can see it through and be as committed to it as so many of my friends are.

As most other people, I crave the anonymity the internet has to offer, yet at the same time reaping the benefits of giving others the access to my thoughts, and like one of my blogger friends pointed out, the ego boost of having others agree with me and if they don't well there is nothing they can do about it now, is there? :) So, after lots of thinking, I decided to finally get a start here and see how far I can achieve my objective of anonymity and sharing of thoughts with millions of you people out there.

So here is to wishing me luck and hopes of further acquaintance and conversations!

FD