Memories

I am a gatherer. I always have trouble throwing stuff away - old cards, old letters, old toys - anything. Maybe that's coz I want to live my life in the past? I don't know. it's not that I ever get to look at them, but it's a comfort to know that I can go back and touch memories. And then throwing things away seems so rash, so final. Once thrown I will never have them back will I?

I guess relationships are like that too. And I am a gatherer there as well, it's hard for me to let go. Probably why I get kicked in teeth so often. Sometimes people get taken for granted because others know that they won't be left alone. I just threw away a relationship which died long ago. It felt like parting with a piece of myself, and it was sort of like burning a bridge - I know I will never get back what I gave up. The funny thing is, I knew long ago it would never be mine again, but doing the final acts is like lighting the funeral pyre - it's like saying goodbye forever and acknowledging that life's never going to be the same again.